Musical imagery just happens…maybe even for Sarah!
Okay, if you don’t know already. Musical Imagery is the brain hearing music when there is no music actually playing!
In Musicophila Dr. Sacks points out that “Musical imagery is not voluntarily commanded or summoned but comes to us apparently spontaneously.” Could the spontaneous nature of the imagery at times be sparked by associative thought? I am not sure. But Dr. Sacks pays attention to the associative thought process as he points out how one of his correspondents stated that “Every memory of my childhood has a soundtrack to it.”
While the following is not verbatim, it is because Dr. Sacks work is sitting right next to me: Musical imagery comes from repeated exposure to a particular piece or type of music. Dr. Sacks points out how musical imagery that entered his mind, while different in type and lacking an associative emotional attachment (like from childhood memory) – was pleasurable enough for him to attend to. The commonality his musical imagery seemed to share was that “I have bombarded my ears and brain with them, and the musical “circuits” or networks in my brain have been supersaturated, overcharged with them. In such a supersaturated state, the brain seems ready to replay the music with no apparent external stimulus.” (Dr. Sacks) For him the musical imagery was rarely intrusive or uncontrollable.
When considering Dr. Sacks bombardment: For Sarah, I discovered (with her) that it was imperative to stop her constant engagement in viewing familiar animated movies, games and TV programs. For the most part they all have a lot of similar music with the added dash of intrigue that ended up being very bad for Sarah. Right before her worsening that occurred at ten years of age she began to need the volume turned up on anything that she listened to. It was as if she was trying to drown out other things in the environment. Soon it was apparent that she was having internal conflict and at that point I realized she was trying to drown out what was going on in her head. She progressed to the point of having inexplicable screaming episodes as she tried to occupy herself with watching her movies or engaging in a video game, and also had the episodes without those things present. She really got to the point where no external stimulus need be present in order that she go berserk. As the outburst intensified in duration, intensity and number of them – the internal conflict (we knew it was auditory hallucination, sometimes visual, but Sarah could not completely articulate what was going on, only offering the occasional miraculous clue in a statement, word or phrase) was coupled with catatonia like presentation. It appears that hers was a mental imagery that may have had music intertwined, and it began to be coupled with motor movements that really took her over.
The above went on for several years. Sarah was eventually able to discern that she needed to be void of stimulus, and when at Generose in Rochester (Mayo) she would many times voluntarily take herself to the seclusion room, that was void of stimulation, during her rougher times. This only emboldened my determination to hang on with her, as I watched her suffer from her hell and try to make her own way out – since for those many years she proved refractory to medication trials and other treatment. I describe feelings about Sarah and how music affected her in Hello, Dr. Wells.
During an Occupational Therapy evaluation, Sarah hated classical music playing in the background. Sarah hates sound with too much treble quality. The OT felt it important to find music that she could enjoy, however all that she experienced turned into conflict, so that not even music soothed her. The OT noted that we already utilized strategies at home such as swimming and swinging, exclusively doing so because Sarah usually responded to favorably to them. The report gave a very long and excellent list of ideas for settling at night, but the active hallucinations and manias cared little for such a list. I previously had exposure to, and understood, the OT’s suggestions since Sarah lived her entire life in the world of autism. Everyone tried so hard to help, but the fact for the current time was that we were not dealing with anything near normal, and Sarah was not responding to most of these types of interventions normally. Her world represented an upside down one. Things considered soothing by many, became intolerable for Sarah.Another therapist wanted to help Sarah to utilize certain relaxation techniques. Mostly, breathing exercises and music. The deliberate breathing required repetition, or ritual. How could I explain to the therapist that this meditative breathing might be bad? Ritual proved harmful to Sarah, and the repetitive breathing might contribute to future absence spells. Past absence spells disturbed her enough to result in violence and/or screaming. Music and repetition (rote) agitated her. Sarah tried relaxation with the therapist, and she engaged in the deliberate breathing, but she looked disturbed; the way she usually looked when dealing with internal conflict. Sarah’s thought processes were fried, and that made repetition of any sort an enemy. Meditation upon meaningless music, breathing, or idle thinking was in vain. It really pointed to her susceptibility toward spells, as compared to some individual’s susceptibility to hypnotizing. Perhaps Sarah’s involvement in any sort of repetition put her in a trance state, without benefit of suggestion from the hypnotist. All she had was her inner conflict from which to draw.
So yes, I had identified that music represented a trigger for conflict, but I did not comprehend the entirety of Sarah’s music problem. I still don’t understand it completely, but just want to keep trying. As I read Dr. Sacks work and consider Sarah’s presentation over her entire life I can easily conclude that, per our current culture, the constant viewing (over and over) of cartoons, animated movies and other media, most of which have a lot of music intertwined – is something better avoided by those identified as being part of the spectrum of autism. These media in too large a dose may represent for the autistic child the same scenario as the bombardment that Dr. Sacks talked about with regard to his own musical imagery. Dr. Sacks, of course, is better able to make sense of the imagery’s intrusion. An autistic child will have a harder fought life long journey of discernment with regard to what they take in, and how their psyche responds to it all.
That is it for this writing.
Read the other Musicophilia Comparisons
Read Musicophilia!
By Oliver Sacks
